From Harp & Sword Chronicles

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Nice picture, huh? See comments on Duran Duran below...

To be honest, I'm not receiving any comments to these posts, so if you're wondering why I'm not here day in and day out posting, until there's some traffic here, I can't see the point. Not being snide or rude, just saying that when there's something to say I'll be here posting. And for the last 10 weeks nothing has been happening except I've been down with battling a fibroid tumor in the uterus, enough to cause my OBGYN to recommend a hysterectomy, which I'm all for. Get the damn thing out of me and maybe my life can get back to normal. I've not even touched my computer for about 6 weeks as a result. I'm online today as I'm feeling pretty good, considering. Thought I'd touch base with anyone out there who may just stumble upon these rantings of mine and decide they want to read more.

Anyway, a friend of mine and I are diving a bit into the Duran Duran side of things and finding out that Simon Le Bon has been an out bi-sexual for a few years now, I got all excited and decided to splash into the past for a bit. Also, it's cool to be able to capture onto the lyrics and spark the flame of passion for words again. Robert Plant does the same, but he and Simon do it from different angles, so I get a well-rounded view of imagery from both sides. :) Nice.

Also, their videos do have a habit of inspiring the mind. My friend is working on a story for the video to "Nightboat" and I pulled out an old story I started around the time 'Wild Boys' came out which is a story video in itself! I love the videos where there's an actual 'theme' to them. Went into You Tube and pulled up Arcadia's videos as well and just love seeing Nick and Simon do their thing from the creative angle. It's been a nice change of pace, different temperature in this pool than Led Zeppelin, but still both bands are very much in my top playing lists. (I can never truly break away from Zeppelin and Pagey. :)
So, with that being said, I await the surgery while dosing myself on pain killers and seeking to remember that there is life outside the doctor's offices.
Peace out,

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Voices From The Grave Are Not Necessarily Audible...(Pete Duel)

A long time ago, when I was 8 years old, I used to love watching "Alias Smith & Jones" with Pete Duel and Ben Murphy. I had such a crush on Pete even at that young age. When I learned that he had killed himself that same year all I remember was hearing the news. I must have blocked out how I reacted, because I have no memory at all of that. For the next almost four decades I didn't really give much thought to the show. I saw it once or twice in syndication when I was in my mid-teens, but never anything after that. I never really understood why, possibly because of the fact that the stigma of Pete's death hung over it. A few weeks ago, I was getting invovled in some fan fiction with the Slash genre', and there is a Live Journal community called 'Flash-Slash' where they take four word prompts and sit and write a story around those four words for about less than 15 minutes without any editing. A slight plan before they go in, but after that the rule is no stopping to think about what you're going to write, just write. One of these girls who participates is named Hardboiledbaby, and she did a few pieces for Alias Smith & Jones. I just melted into the stories she constructed and got in touch with her about them. I then gave in to my desire and purchased the first season for A: S&J (a mid-season release so it only had the pilot movie plus 14 eps) and watched them all in a weekend. I once again fell in love with Pete Duel and found myself questioning what brought him to commit suicide. All I knew was that it was by a bullet to the brain.

I found fans on You Tube who had visited his grave. Got to see pictures of his tombstone and found myself crying. I then searched out the articles about his death and how it happened. December 31st, 1971 at around 1:35 in the morning. His live-in girlfriend, Diane Ray, was asleep in their bedroom when she awoke, thinking she was dreaming, to see Pete at his dresser unwrapping a .38. He said, "I'll see you later", went out into the living room and shot himself.

I wanted to understand what made him pull the trigger. I found out he suffered from depression, severe, possibly what they would now call clinical depression. At that time the war with Viet Nam was still going on and pollution was raising its ugly head in leaps and bounds. Pete was an avid ecological advocate. He cared about the world, animals and people. What he saw going on around him must have really heightened his sorrow. He turned to alcohol to alleviate his pain, but as we know now, alcohol just intensifes depression. He tried AA groups and battled with both problems, but he lost the battle that night. He simply could not rise above his sorrows. On a good and positive note, from what people said on the set of A: S&J, he never let the alcoholism interfere with his work. He was a professional, no matter how much he despised doing series work, wanting to further his skills as an actor with movie roles. Now, I suffer from degenerative disk disease in my neck, mixed with arthritis. There are some times when the pain is so bad it's debilitating and I just want to die so that I can end it. I never suffer from depression, but I have a friend who is clinically depressed and I've seen what it can do to a person. There was no treatment for such severe depression back then as there is today (if you can call what they offer today 'treatment'.)

Pete's love for the environment would be sorely needed today. I feel his was a soul that was born out of time. I believe his death to be a tragedy, but I can honestly understand why he did it. Too many things, too soon, must have made him feel like living was pointless.

Today, I wonder how he would feel about everyone 'going green'. Would he have hope? Sometimes I wonder myself what it's all for...living...being here. We're on the brink of religious caused mass destruction where there honestly seems to be no hope for mankind to survive. I wonder if he would simply take a gun to his head again. Everyone who new Pete said that he cared so much about people and the world around him. He took in stray dogs, loved animals and nature and felt his world falling apart with all that was happening to destroy this world and mankind. It just messed him up.

I had kept my feelings on his death within for about two weeks after reading more about it. Then last Saturday I couldn't hold back anymore and released the grief. The death happened almost 38 years ago, but I finally faced it and understood the tragedy of it. The next day I went to the grocery store. Now, I do my part for the environment. I recycle what I can, when I can, and try to save water and what have you, but I know I can do more. So, with Pete's love for the environment on my mind and heart, I sought items at the grocery store that were 'green'. I bought the shopping bags they use to keep from using plastic. I needed dishwashing liquid and looked for Seventh Generation products, thinking I could do the 'green' thing while also helping the Native Americans, but unfortunately this store did not carry Seventh Generation. I did, however, find the Clorox 'green' products called 'Green Works'. I picked a bottle of dishwasing liquid and said, "For Pete. Yes, for the environment mostly, but also in honor of Pete." I searched for all things I could do to help.

I went home and unloaded the items. I took the bottle of Clorox Green Works and went to read the label. I saw that Clorox has partnered up with Sierra Club Foundation. I saw the recycle symbol at the bottom of the label...and then I saw something else beneath that symbol that almost made me drop the bottle. Talk about freaky, this about did it for me. Beneath that symbol, in bold letters...was the word "PETE".

I know it's an acronym, but what it stands for I have no idea at this time. I only know that it spelled out "PETE".

I stared at that thing for about a minute, unable to breathe. It did not say "Peter", but "PETE". The form of the name 'Peter' that Pete Duel used.

I took it as a sign that he was smiling down on me.

Sometimes voices from the grave are not always audible.
Blessed Be.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Pete Duel

Immersing myself in Alias Smith & Jones Slash fiction, I found myself remembering the day I heard about Pete Duel's suicide. Curious as to the reasons why this talented young man killed himself in the early morning hours of December 31st, 1971 I went to investigate all I could. Some suicides no one ever figures out, and I can't say I have here...except that with the depression he seemingly suffered it is clear that he could not rise above it. It's a sad, tragic ending to a young man who had so much going for him both in talent and desire to save the ecology. I sit here and finally am mourning, close to 38 years after he died, but I understand why he must have needed to exit this world. Sometimes I find myself wondering what the point of this world is for if all we do is hate each other and go to war and push religious beliefs to the extreme. What's the point? Where is this God that is so full of love and why does he play games with us? What's the point of being human if all we do is lower ourselves to our base nature? Looking out for number one, ignoring the other people in this world and then 'fighting for a righteous cause'. How can killing and war every really be righteous? Sometimes I sit back and ponder these things, hoping that there is a reason for it, but lately...I'm beginning to wonder.
No worries. I'm not beyond the point of no return where Pete ended up, but...it does make me wonder what all this is for. What he must have seen around him...what pushed him to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger...I just wonder if he wasn't a soul born out of time, for we sure could use his voice today.
God and Goddess bless you, Petey. You were an amazing soul in my opinion and you are sorely missed, even now.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

"GemInI Souls" Now Released!!

This guy is Sevrin's partner in love and magick - Razeal!

Here to inform that my second book in my "Dimenlien Chronicles" - "GemInI Souls: Volume I - Discovery" is now up for purchase at Dark Roast Press.
Direct link:

Also, new illustration/merchandise for Sevrin and Razeal from "GemInI Souls" is up on my cafe press shop:

Check out the story. I think You'll be pleasantly surprised. ;-)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

This guy is Sevrin, from my "GemInI Souls" story line, soon to be published through Dark Roast Press. His partner in love and Magick, Razeal, is forthcoming as soon as my artist finishes coloring him in. I can't wait to see his, if this one is anything to go on. I was immensely thrilled with the finished product here. I hope you enjoy the ambiance!

Gay Marriage Blog comment link


The Pagan_And_Pen blog site on word press is a place for us Pagan Authors to go and share things either within the world of writing or Pagan issues in General. Each of us assign ourselves days and we take that time to post our thoughts, or share articles of interest. This lady, C.H. Scarlett, is my fellow author on Dark Roast Press and she posted this amazing insight into Gay Marriage. Read it and the comments that follow and see what it does for your desire to research this issue further. I was floored, and I was once a Christian. I wonder if Christians even know about this stuff or do they just follow like I did, without question, what their pulpit masters teach them?
I'd be curious to read your comments either here or at the P & P blog site.
Have a great day!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Incredible things...

Just a bit of where things are going. The writing, of course, but lots more than that. I'm starting to need to get more into spiritual pathworking. One of the paths I've begun (dabbled in before, but it keeps calling me to get more serious) is the workings of 'The Golden Dawn'. I have some books set aside from my first encounter with this path and I picked up "The Golden Dawn" as revealed by Israel Regardie last night. It is a path that is not for the dabbler. Lots of reasons why I'm heading here, mostly because where I used to be afraid of practicing magick, I'm beginning to wonder if it shouldn't be practiced, but with a high level of respect. I've been on vacation from my pagan roots for over a year now and I think I need to get back to it. I like the thought of ceremonial magick. I like the idea of really tapping into the energies of the universe to bring forth change. With all the chaos in the world around us, it's time for those of us who believe in magick to step up to the plate and begin to utilize what we know. It's going to take time for me to understand this path. As I said it's not for the dabbler. But I've been dabbling for seven years since becoming Pagan. It's time to get serious. Armchair Paganism was a nice break from fearful religion, but now it's time to choose to become a disciple of a path that keeps tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "It's time to join us. Don't be afraid."
If any of you belong to this path of The Golden Dawn, contact me privately at myristica63@gmail.com I wold love to learn or discuss whatever information you offer.
I don't care if it's Hermetic or Thelemic...talk to me. ::grin::

~Blood's not the only thing being sucked around here!~

Released thru Dark Roast Press. And it's already in the top 10 at #8 on the DRP best seller list! I'm currently working on the sequel and have it about done. Just about another chapter to finish and then it's tweaking, polishing and then to be sent off to the editor! I'll be glad when this one is off my plate. The sequel was a PITA to write and I'm ready to move onto my other story lines. The first book to the "Harp & Sword Chronicles" is finished, but needs a final tweak. GemInI Souls' first book is off to the editor and awaiting corrections as I write this. I should get something from her in the next few weeks. I foresee approximately a two edit turn around and then off to be published! Cover is about done on that one as well.
Lots of stuff happening. Also, I have a Cafe Press shop. (See links at top of page)
I am now on the internet more in order to move forward and promote as well as immerse myself into other authors' work. It's a great ride, a lot to do, but fun!
See you all in the realms of fantasy!